In Rememberance

So much to say and so little time to say it these days. Van is awake so much during the days now, he is so alert and loves to read books with me.
He has cried so much in the past few days since we got back from Florida, so we took him to the Dr's today and Dr. Sears says he thinks he is colicky. So I am going to watch what I eat to avoid hours of crying. He does weigh 15 lbs now and I wanted to share some more pics of his little face. He got to meet so many family members while we were home. That is my mom with the broken leg, she broke it extreme mountain biking. Can you believe that? Van also got a chance to meet his Pocka while we were home, and miss Charlotte and their doggies Blondie and Dagwood too. He traveled like he was born to do it, and I can't wait to take him on another vacation to a cool new place this summer.




I realize when I haven't had any sleep and I am at my wits end, that life is precious and my problems are not that large. While I was in Florida a friend from my childhood passed away. Her family still remains close to mine, however I had not seen her in a couple years. I have been so saddened by lexie's passing this week that every waking moment has gone to thinking of her and remembering how we were as little kids growing up together. Her mom was at our house the night she passed away and we were talking about how much fun we had together and reminiscing about our youth. She left our house and found out that her youngest daughter of 31 had passed that evening in her home. It all seemed so strange to me, there was her mom sitting on our couch talking and remembering us as little girls. Then we get a call one hour later that she is gone. My heart aches for the family and although I cannot even imagine the pain of losing a child, my mother knows how it feels and can relate and I know she will bring great peace and friendship at this time to the Eatons.
Alexia I will remember your sweet smile, and the laughter we shared as little girls growing up together, I know you are missed by many. God Speed.

home

Today my sister and I took Van out in the boat to a little island and we touched his toes in the salt water and let him feel the sand between his toes. I collected some sand for his sand collection as the first beach in Florida that he got to see.

Life is full of new things each day for him, and I love to be by his side watching his eyes take it all in. Some things he loves and others he just needs to warm up to.
We drove the boat out to the island with the dog on the bow, and the smell of the salty air and the warm water and white sand reminded me of how it felt to be a little kid growing up here. The ocean is like a bathtub and almost always warm enough to swim in, and the sand is like white sugar. I am just cherishing every moment here because before I know it we will be on the plane back home. Family is such a wonderful thing to have around. I felt the pressure of needing to be by Van's side every waking moment reside once I arrived here.

My mom loves to spend time with him alone and so does my sister and her kids too, it's nice to know they are here and I can take a break and relax when I need to. This trip has been very surreal for me. Every things the same but I have a son by my side now, and his little things fill my suitcase now. I looked in my suitcase tonight and suddenly all of his things were more important than mine. I shoved all of my things to the side and made room for his.

My sister and I got to go out this week while my mom & my cousin watched Van and it was so much fun, drinking martini's and having dinner. They had a Bengal tiger in a cage outside of this party which I was not very happy about, but it was fun to people watch and have a little time with the girls!

Van got a chance to meet my other two sisters and all of his cousins this week too, we had fun and got a chance to eat at Dagwoods together!

I have so many more pictures to share. I will have more tomorrow.

bye for now!

planes, trains and automobiles

Hi there. so we made it to Florida okay. I haven't been able to upload any fun new pictures because my moms computer is vintage.
Anyways the plane ride was good, Van loved the first part and he slept a lot, but the second part no so much. We are having fun here with the family. Swimming in the pool, seeing all of Van's cousins and aunties and uncles. It took him a few days to adjust to the time change and the hot hot weather, but he is doing great now. I will write more late but here are some pics from Florida so far.

more later....

I even got to go out with my sister and her friends to a party in Tampa.

faith, hope & love

Today Conner, Van & I drove up to San Clemente to go to church and then we went down to the pier to have french crepes, and walk to the end of the pier. As we were walking down to the end of the pier, time was moving really slow. I felt like I needed to take advantage of it, and enjoy the moment. Live in the present. Being a mom and a wife at the same time is a lot of work... Don't they just have a wife's day too?

Church was great it really opened my ears and my heart to the truth. I was there in church for a reason, because my mom taught me that God was important in my life and that faith, hope and love were the answer. As I was changing Van's diaper today and he was crying, I kept thinking how I hated to see him struggling.

Ever since we brought him into this world he has had to face challenges compared to what he was used to in my body, floating in the warm cozy waters, having all of his needs met. Then I focused on my life and thought sure it was easier when my parents were supporting me, I wasn't trying to make it on my own. I left the east coast out of faith and hope and I ended up finding love. Everyday is a challenge but I couldn't imagine it any other way. Thank you Conner for being my husband and for wanting so much for Van and I. You make us both smile. Today was a first for me as a mom, and there are many more to come down the road.


Thank you mom for sculpting me into the person I am today. I love where I am. Thank you Van for helping me to feel things I never thought I could feel.
You truly are teaching me so much about life.

2 months

Here he is at 2 months! Getting so big.

honor your mother

Yesterday I took Van to the beach for the first time. He loved it, I dipped his toes in the sand and walked down to the water with him. It was a little too cold for him to put his feet in, but I could tell by the look on his face that he liked it and knew it was a special place to be.

We went on a little trail that ran along the beach with our friends Jen and laekin (Van's girlfriend). And we wrote Van's name in the sand.

Laekin is a little older than Van but he likes mature women, I can tell. We spend one day a week with them now doing something fun outside, so Van is getting to know Laekin very well.. They have even seen each other get their diaper changed.. shhh




I found myself laying in a dentist chair this morning getting my teeth cleaned while rocking Van in his car seat so he wouldn't cry. I guess most moms get a baby sitter. Conner came but he had to go to work. Some days Van barely cries at all and I look at myself in the mirror and think I may have finally figured it out. Then I have a day like today where I look at myself in the mirror and realize makeup can't even cover up the dark circles under my eyes so why should I try.

Mothers day is coming up and I wanted to speak about something i am feeling very passionate about lately. I think because my mom lost her son to leukemia at the age of 6, that I feel strongly about supporting this cause. I don't think leukemia was a treatable disease at the time, but all the same she lost her son. And if there is something we can to to prevent other mothers from losing their children well let's do it!! Okay? Please help me in supporting the Global Child Survival Act.

Every year, 10 million mothers lose a child under the age of 5 to a completely preventable disease. This Mother's Day, you have an opportunity to give these mothers, and yours, a special gift.

Just this morning Congress introduced the U.S. Commitment to Global Child Survival Act. It will provide resources for simple and cost effective tools to save the lives of the 30,000 children who die each day from treatable infections, waterborne illness, malnutrition, and the half a million mothers who die from complications in childbirth.

1.	Today, you can honor mothers around the world by sending a letter to your members of Congress asking them to support the Global Child Survival Act.
2.	Then send a special ONE Mother's Day greeting to let mothers know you did this in their honor.

click here if the link above doesn't work.

I am looking forward to this weekend with Van and Conner, it is my time to reflect on the past two months and what a little miracle I have to wake up to each morning and night! I couldn't do it alone, I know that much.
xoxoxoxo much love.

change is good...

Last week Van went for his almost 2 month check up and he weighs 12lbs 10oz, and he is 24 in tall. He is growing so much. His head is still not as big as Conner's however! He is following us around the room with his eyes, reaching out for toys, and starting to hold things with his hands when you put them on his belly. I have been giving him a little baby massage after his baths at night to calm him down and get him in the mind set to sleep through the night!
Massage can:

• reduce crying and help relieve colic
• encourage better sleeping
• possibly help to boost the immune system

I mix a couple drops of Lavender oil with some jojoba oil and rub him gently on his arms and legs and his back and tummy. Last night he was up every 2 hours. But one night last week he did sleep for five hours.

Last week was tough for the Erwin's. Van had to have two shots in his legs at his Dr's apt. There is something so helpless about watching your baby get shots or deal with any type of pain, you know there is nothing you can really do about it but hold him and tell him it will be alright.
Conner left lending tree last week and that was another emotional decision we had to make. There are so many decisions in life that we have to make where we really don't know what the outcome will be, but you just have to make them and go with your gut and know God will provide. We decided as a family that this would be the best decision for us. So I watched both my boys go through a trying time last week. The week weighed heavy on us and our hearts, but we fel this was a good decision for our future.


Conner and I celebrated out 3 year anniversary this weekend, we went to the Pala resort and casino it started out with a couples massage outside, while Dave and Julie watched Van at home! THANKS GUYS. We seriously needed a little vacation together after last week. We hung out by the pool sipping on margaritas, having lunch and talking. Conner got a little burnt because he refused to wear SPF. He even mentioned to me that it was the kind of day where you don't feel like your getting burnt and then you get home and your fried. So he is taking aspirin for his redness.

Heather bought me a ticket to fly home to Florida for 11 days this past week, I am so amazed at her generosity. But then again she is always so generous, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. So Van and I are going for 11 days this month. He will get to meet all of his family members that live in Florida. Thank You Aunt Heddie..

I love everything here on 2 modern
this website is great, with amazing clean lines and modern pieces. They have great baby stuff too. Everything is pretty sustainable, that is what I like about it.

mahalo

get out

We had fun walking along the beach in Carlsbad today with Van's girlfriends Laekin and Sunny! The beach was so nice I just kept looking out today at the ocean and wanting to get in there again and surf. I miss it so much. Hopefully it will be soon, that I can paddle out into the surf with vigor and strength... My core feels weak right now, I guess that is what having a baby will do to you. But I am starting stroller strides where you can take your kiddy along with you and work out hard. I am also going to yoga on the weekends starting next weekend.
I feel like part of being a good mom is taking your babe out to breath the fresh air everyday and experience the earth, the animals, the sun and all it's glory! Even though Van was asleep the whole time I am sure he still enjoyed it! ha

see ya soon.